SCREAMING MATCHES & BROKEN EGOS: The Toxic, Beautiful War Between Bette Midler and Her “Servant” Barry Manilow

Introduction

It was the greatest “bad romance” in music history, but they never dated. They just tormented each other into greatness.

We love the myth of the harmonious duet. We want to believe that musical soulmates finish each other’s sentences. But the partnership between Barry Manilow and Bette Midler wasn’t built on peace. It was built on friction. It was built on the kind of screaming, red-faced creative violence that only happens when two geniuses are trapped in a room too small to contain their egos.

In the beginning, the power dynamic was brutal. Bette was “The Divine Miss M,” a force of nature, a whirlwind of camp and charisma. Barry? He was just “the help.” He was the hired piano player, the shy arranger trying to impose structure on chaos. Bette treated him like a utility; Barry looked at her like a terrifying puzzle he had to solve.

Witnesses from the early 70s describe their rehearsals not as jam sessions, but as combat. She wanted to go left; he forced her right. She wanted raw emotion; he demanded musical precision. They bickered like an old married couple on the brink of divorce, every single day. Legend has it that during the recording of her debut album, the tension was so thick you could choke on it. Bette famously quipped that Barry was “a dream to work with… if you like nightmares.”

But here is the twist that makes this story so intoxicating: The hate was the fuel.

Without Barry’s lush, complex arrangements, Bette might have remained a cabaret act. Without Bette’s explosive energy pushing him out of his shell, Barry might have stayed a background pianist forever. They were frenemies in the truest sense of the word. They needed the conflict to sharpen their art. It was a symbiotic toxicity. When they were on stage, the anger evaporated, replaced by a psychic connection that mesmerized audiences.

They eventually parted ways, leading to decades of silence and icy distance, only to reunite years later like war veterans acknowledging the shared scars. This isn’t just a story about two pop stars. It is a case study in how the most beautiful art often comes from the ugliest battles. They drove each other to the edge of insanity, and thank God they did—because the view from that ledge changed pop music forever.

Video: Barry Manilow – Please Don’t Be Scared